He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
