but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize