May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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