so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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