is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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