I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
