My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
