I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
