My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
