: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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