Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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