Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
