I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
