Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
