I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
