I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
