You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
