I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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