I'm lost and stupid without you.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
