Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
