Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
