dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
