Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
