my vag is so smooth its legendary
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
MIDGETS
????
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
