I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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