I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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