I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
