Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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