Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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