I don't think brook has ever known best
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
