so that wasnt chicken after all
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
