I want to walk on stilts...naked
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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