I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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