and you said cock pushups were impossible
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't deserve a penis
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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