hotel room ftw
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
