You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
