We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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