i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
