it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
