I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
