I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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