i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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