I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Rumble strips road head = magical
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My butt remains clenched, sir.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
