Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Randomize
