Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
