Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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