so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
