If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
