is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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