it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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