the day after is always just damage control
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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