Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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