is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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