brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
vagina is talking i cant
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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