dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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