I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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