I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
