Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
