Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
