Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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