i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
