it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Who did Billy Mays play for?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
