hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
