remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
