I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
