omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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