Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
