just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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