discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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